Let Dogs Be Dogs: The Problems with Unrealistic Expectations
One of the biggest mistakes dog owners make is expecting their dog to be something other than what it is—a dog. We often hear phrases like, “He should just get along with everyone,” or “She should know better than to do that.” But dogs are not little humans in furry coats. They have instincts, drives, and behaviors that are deeply ingrained. When we ignore or misunderstand these, we set our dogs—and ourselves—up for frustration and failure.
Common Unrealistic Expectations
1. Expecting All Dogs to Like Each Other
Dogs are social animals, but that does not mean they want to be friends with every dog they meet. Just as humans have different personalities and preferences, so do dogs. Some dogs enjoy playing with others, while some prefer their own space. This is especially true for intact adult males—two unneutered males in the same household or social setting may not tolerate each other, and that’s not abnormal. Expecting them to get along without conflict is a mistake that can lead to serious fights and injuries.
2. Expecting Dogs to Always Tolerate Rough Handling
Many people assume dogs should be endlessly patient, especially with children. While some dogs are more tolerant, all dogs have boundaries. A child pulling on a dog’s ears, hugging too tightly, or climbing on them may push the dog past its comfort zone. It is unfair to expect a dog to “just deal with it.” Instead, we should respect their limits and teach children appropriate ways to interact with dogs.
3. Assuming a Dog Won’t Chase Small Animals
Dogs have prey drive, some stronger than others. Expecting a herding or sporting breed to completely ignore squirrels, rabbits, or even the family cat is unrealistic without proper training and management. Prey drive is not bad behavior—it’s instinct. If a dog is prone to chasing, it’s our responsibility to keep them in safe environments where they can’t get into trouble.
4. Thinking a Dog Will ‘Just Know’ How to Behave
Dogs do not come pre-programmed with human rules. They don’t inherently understand that chewing shoes is bad, that jumping on guests is impolite, or that counter-surfing is off-limits. They learn through consistent training, guidance, and reinforcement. Expecting a dog to “know better” without teaching them first is setting them up for failure.
5. Expecting a Dog to Never Show Aggression or Fear
All animals, including humans, have thresholds where they will react to fear, pain, or stress. A dog that growls when uncomfortable is communicating. Punishing the growl instead of addressing the cause can suppress warning signs, making a bite more likely in the future. Recognizing when a dog is uncomfortable and respecting their signals prevents behavioral issues from escalating.
Setting Dogs Up for Success
To create a harmonious relationship with our dogs, we need to respect their nature:
Learn about breed tendencies – Some breeds are more dog-social, while others prefer human companionship. Some have strong prey drive, while others are more laid-back. Understanding these traits helps set realistic expectations.
Manage situations appropriately – Don’t force interactions that could lead to conflict. If you have two intact males, recognize that tensions may arise and separate them if needed. If your dog dislikes children, provide a safe space away from them.
Train and reinforce desired behaviors – Dogs thrive with clear, consistent guidance. Teach them what is expected instead of assuming they “should just know.”
Respect their boundaries – If a dog signals discomfort, don’t force them into situations where they feel unsafe.
When we accept our dogs for what they are—living, thinking animals with instincts and emotions—we create a stronger, more trusting bond. Instead of trying to make them something they’re not, let’s appreciate and respect them for the dogs they are.
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